Ready to Crash
by KrystalBlaze - Jerikor
Summary: *Part 3 Up* 4 years pre-AOTC. A voice is calling Obi-Wan to the sea. When the Council refuses his request to investigate, he and Anakin take matters into their own hands as Obi-Wan faces a dangerous and deadly fall from grace.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Star Wars belong to the Great Flanneled one. (All Hail George Lucas!) The titled of the song comes from the Matchbox Twenty song "Cold" from the More Than You Think You Are album. Rob Thomas and Matt Serletic wrote the song, so hail to them as well.  
  
Author: KrystalBlaze  
  
Summary: A voice is calling Obi-Wan to the sea. When the Council refuses his request to investigate, he and Anakin take matters into their own hands as Obi-Wan faces a dangerous and deadly fall from grace.  
  
Rating: PG-13 (for violence}  
  
Ah, my beautiful readers, I now bring you into this dangerous and deadly work of fiction. I hope you enjoy it.  
  
_____  
  
"Tell me how we're going to make it last  
  
You're ready to fly  
  
I'm ready to crash"  
  
-Cold, Matchbox Twenty  
  
____  
  
PROLOGUE  
  
The waves crashed around him, violently thrashing his body with its relentless rolling. With one arm and his legs, he propelled himself towards upward, his lungs aching painfully. His right arm sang in pain, sending a sway of pain of pain thudding through his body. The saltiness of the ocean stung his eyes, but he forced them open, swimming for the surface, swimming for air.  
  
He erupted with a gasp, the wind and water slapping his face. He opened his mouth to scream, but water filled it, and the waves pushed him under again. Choking, he forced his limbs to move and headed once again towards the surface. Drowsiness began to attack him, and for a moment he closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift away for a minute.  
  
No.  
  
He began to swim. He had to swim. He would not let himself be killed without a fight. If the Force wanted to take him, then so be it, but he would not go quietly. He refused it, breaking onto the surface once again. He pried his eyes open and forced himself to survey his surroundings, looking for any means of land. He wanted to curse the gods when he saw nothing but dark ocean, but once again he was pushed beneath the waves.  
  
The voice began to fill his ears.  
  
"Come."  
  
Oh, it was so lulling and beautiful, peaceful yet forceful. He wanted to close his eyes and let the waves rock him to sleep, but his heart protested at the thought. He mustn't sleep. There was something to be done. He had to fight. . . must fight. . .  
  
"Come."  
  
He had to battle the titanic urge to sleep within himself. Had to, had to, had to. There was still so much to be done! He had to train Anakin. . . he had to fulfill his promise. . . he had so much work to do. . . the Council still had to send them on missions. . .  
  
"Come."  
  
He wouldn't go. His lungs began to ache. His limp arm screeched in pain and the salt stung the gash in his stomach. Kicking with his legs and paddling with his uninjured arm, he came to the surface long enough to gasp a breath of air, and then sank underneath the roaring sea.  
  
"Come."  
  
He tried to banish the noise from his ears, but it was useless. Even when it wasn't being spoken, the words danced throughout his mind, teasing in their softness and weakening his mind with the want to follow them. His eyes drifted shut once more.  
  
Anakin!  
  
They flew open, stinging again. Anakin! Anakin had been with him when. . . he was in the ocean. . . he was somewhere in the raging water! How could he have forgotten his Padawan? If he stopped fighting now, would Anakin survive? Was he weakening in the terrible depths of the sea? What if he had lost consciousness and was all ready dead?  
  
"Come."  
  
And suddenly the picture filled his mind: Anakin lying on a grassy hill, his arms spread out in front of him and blood trailing from a cut on his face. Even in the water, his breath hitched at the sight. Spinning himself around, he shot his gaze downward, searching for any sign of civilization, his mind twisting in grief when he saw none. Where was Anakin?  
  
"Come."  
  
Anakin was with the voice. The voice was beckoning him to Anakin. He could feel the power in it, vibrating with his Padawan's Force-presence. Anakin was calling him. He had only to close his eyes to find his apprentice. That above everything was the most important. He must find Anakin!  
  
Closing his eyes, he let himself go, and drifted into a darkness so complete he screamed when the light pierced his eyes.  
  
____________________ 


	2. Chapter One

Thanks for reviews. 

____________

Part One

Anakin Skywalker awoke to a scream that drove any sleep from his bones and caused him to spring to his feet, his lightsaber flying to his hand. It took a moment before he remembered who the scream belonged to, and more importantly that it wasn't serious. It was funny, after waking up everyday with the scream for the last half year; he still awoke with a need to protect his Master and himself. It was strange, though, to fathom the notion of protecting Obi-Wan Kenobi from himself.

Obi-Wan was worrying him. He woke up every morning at the first trace of light, his piercing cry echoing through the apartment they shared. Once, Anakin had asked the Padawan in the apartment next to theirs if she heard the scream, and, solemnly, the child had said yes, but her Master had told her not to say anything. Smiling, Anakin sent the child on her way and resolved to ask his own Master about the dream.

His mouth was set in a dead line as he sat on the couch telling Anakin he would not discuss the thing that made him cry out so terribly. Disturbed, the Padawan had urged him to see a Mind Healer about it, and Obi-Wan had calmly told him he would see a Healer when the Jedi Temple fell and the Republic died. That ended the discussion before it could even truly begin. 

Anakin was still worried. The Council had kept them busy over the last year, and Obi-Wan's troubling sleeping tendencies did not help. Although he was not troubled by the dream that plagued him inside the Temple, there were others that seemed to feed off the dark energy of the one that sent him screaming, leaving little room for rest. Anakin knew this by the fact his Master did not wake up screaming at the twilight and instead whimpered softly during the night. The noises made the apprentice uncomfortable, and he tried to forget them.

He eased back onto the sleep-couch, placing his saber onto the stand next to bed within easy reach. He pulled the covers up around him, tiredness spreading once again throughout his limbs. Obi-Wan would all ready be getting prepared for the long day ahead. He was never able to sleep after the nightmares; instead he dressed, ate the first meal, and usually went for a walk in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. When the dreams had first plagued his Master, Anakin had tried his hardest to follow Obi-Wan in his walks and his rigid schedule of waking up at the crack of dawn; but it had become next to impossible. He couldn't handle his Master's sleeplessness. 

He heard Obi-Wan give a cry and swear, then fast muttering. Despite himself, Anakin grinned. 

Obi-Wan always ran into the door. 

_____

His dreams were calling him to the sea. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi tossed a pebble across the lake as he walked down the cobblestone path of the Room of a Thousand Fountains, pausing to watch it skip merrily until finally sinking. The soft trinket of noise was the only sound in the vacant and chilly room. He tugged the cloak around him tighter as he sat down on a bench. 

He was fed up with it all. He was sick of the dreams and seeing the concerned look on his apprentice's face whenever they met for the first time of the day. He didn't like the disquiet that graced Anakin's features when he saw the deep bags under his Master's eyes and the way Obi-Wan's eyes often drifted shut at meal times, only to be forced open a second later. He didn't want Anakin's concern and certainly not his pity.

_If only the dreams would just stop, it wouldn't be like this at all. . ._

Sometimes he wondered if the dream was a premonition. Some Jedi were known to receive them and were valued for the gift, but Obi-Wan wasn't one of those. He was glad for that; his one dream was giving him enough trouble and he wasn't even sure if it was in fact a glimpse into the future. 

He wanted rest more than anything. The fatigue was starting to catch up to him. Some weeks, when his fear of the dream escalated to a scaling amount, he let himself pass the days without sleep. He meditated often during the weeks he went without sleep, and that helped immensely, but nothing could beat human nature. He had to sleep every five days or so, and when he did that his will wasn't strong him enough for him to stop his sleeping, even with the dream.

Oh, how he wanted to sleep with dreamless nights. He was sick of being tired all the time, and the worst thing he was he knew his fatigue was self-imposing. 

_A Jedi is not to fear. . ._

Obi-Wan would never admit it to anyone, and certainly not Anakin, but he feared the dream with everything in his being. He hated the feeling of helplessness and the voice that sang through his ears. What if it _was a premonition? What would happen then? It was frustrating beyond any belief. The worst thing was that it involved Anakin. He would never live with himself if anything happened to Anakin because of his mistake and his dream. _

No Force-induced trance could put him to ease during the day when the sun glared its rays. He had never been able to sleep during the daytime hours; it was next to impossible for him. He didn't like naps; the day was too short for that. The darkness was the time to sleep, yet now he couldn't even manage that in the cool comfort of darkness. 

Shaking his head, Obi-Wan returned to his feet and continued his walk through the room, his weary eyes seeking the calming scene of the waterfall. 

He stayed in the room until the first yawning initiate came stumbling down the walkway. The child, upon seeking the young Master, immediately straightened himself and nodded to Obi-Wan, hastily drawing out a greeting. "Hello, Master Kenobi."  
  


"Hello," Obi-Wan replied curtly, watching the student hurry away. A momentous sigh shuddered through Obi-Wan's body, and he followed the boy out of the room and into the corridor. Students and Knights were just starting to file down the stairwell towards the mess hall. He joined their ranks, checking his timekeeper. He was due to meet Anakin for the first meal in half an hour. 

After receiving his food, he found himself a table tucked into a corner and seated himself, scanning the thong of students and Knights for his apprentice. Anakin was anything but an early riser, but he was good about time. Mostly.

"Can I join you?" someone asked from behind him. He turned slightly and saw his friend Bant Eerin out of his peripheral vision. He wanted to turn away from her worried look and never see it again, but she would not let him leave for training without talking with him. He nodded and she sat across from him.

"And how are you?" he asked, sipping at his drink, still scanning the hall for his apprentice. 

"I was going to ask you," Bant replied, crossing her fingers in front of her face. She rested her chin on them and stared across the table with large, silver eyes. "Where's your apprentice?"

"He's supposed to meet me here soon," he responded, setting the cup down. His meal was quickly losing its warmth, but he didn't care. He wasn't particularly hunger.

"Well, that's nice," she said, raising her voice a little to be heard over the din that most people associated with the mess hall. She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Obi-Wan, you look awful."

He let out a harsh laugh. They went through this act whenever they ate together, or whenever she saw him for that matter. "Well, thanks. Not that I haven't heard, of course." He ran his hands through his hair. "Nice of you to notice, though, I was beginning to wonder if maybe you had stopped caring."

She reached out and punched him lightly in the arm. "It's no trouble, _Master _Kenobi."

He smirked at her. "That's right. I am a Master."

"Oh, label me stunned."

He spotted Anakin entering the room with a child wrapped in his arms. Obi-Wan was about to get up and head over when the crèche Master came gliding down the aisle, flanked by a dozen children in a line. He watched Anakin handing the child over, smiling at the gentleness in his apprentice's eyes and the way the child latched onto him. Children loved Anakin, no doubt of it.

The apprentice caught Obi-Wan's eyes and winked. He headed towards the eating line.

"Ah, Padawan Skywalker enters," Bant remarked, having watched the entire scene. 

"Has anyone ever told you how funny you are, Knight Eerin?"

"Oh yes, the children I torture in the crèche," she replied, smiling merrily, "all the time. The little one your Padawan was carrying particularly likes the way I lead them to the infirmary every month for their check-up." 

"Why am I not surprised?"

Anakin ambled over, his tray piled high with fruit and other morning goodies. He pulled a chair over with his foot. "'Morning, Master, Knight Eerin," he said, setting the tray down with a clank. He immediately drained his glass and bit into his muja fruit hungrily. The boy always ate as though he had been starved for a week. 

"Good morning, Anakin," Obi-Wan told him, watching his apprentice finish the fruit and pick up his fork. "I see you're hungry so I won't bother asking you why you had the child."  
  


"You know, Master," Anakin said with his mouth full, "a sour attitude like that doesn't help anyone."

"Right," Obi-Wan said, grinning.

Bant blew out her breath. "You know, Anakin, you can call me Bant."

"Yes, Bant," Anakin said in a way that showed he would never call her that again because she told him every time they crossed paths. He paused and swallowed slowly. "The poor kid was lost, Master, so I decided to bring her to the crèche Master or Knight Eerin. She was crying." 

"Well, then, its okay that you're late," he said, glancing towards Bant. She narrowed her eyes, nodding at his untouched food. Making a sound in his mouth, he picked up his own fruit and tore off a bit with his mouth, chewing slowly. She reached out and touched his arm, glaring at him. He took another bite.

"So, Master," Anakin said, done with the pile on his place. Bant looked mildly surprised. "What are we doing today?"

Bant jumped in. "Anakin, tell your Master I want him to see a Mind Healer."

Obi-Wan's grin vanished. Uncertain, Anakin looked from his Master to Bant. Jaded cerulean clashed with cobalt silver ones. The apprentice wanted nothing more than to slink away and hide from the storm that was forming in the distance between the two sets of eyes. Why had Bant pushed him in the middle of it? He glared at her.

"I'm not discussing this again," Obi-Wan said, his voice taunt. 

"Well, my dear, you're going to have to sooner or later," she replied testily. "This nightmare business is serious whether you want to admit it or not." She met Anakin's pale glare. "Am I right, Padawan Skywalker?"

He wanted to say no, but to do so would be lie. One of Obi-Wan's gravest lessons was that he should never lie. Nevertheless… "What do you mean?"  
  


"Doesn't he wake up everyday screaming? Half the Temple can hear him!"

"I would prefer that you discuss this matter with me and not my Padawan, Bant!" Obi-Wan snapped angrily. He turned to Anakin with furious eyes. "Padawan, please go to the sparring room. I'll meet you there in ten minutes."

"Yes, Master," Anakin said, grateful for the chance to leave. He scrambled up, nodding to Bant.

"Don't do that again," Obi-Wan said, his eyes smoldering.

"Do what? Ask your Padawan the truth?"

"Not that, Bant! I don't want you to ever do that _again. Do not question me in front of my Padawan and never put him in that position again. Do you understand?"_

"Obi-Wan-"

_"Do you understand?"_

"No," she growled. "I don't. I was asking him for the truth and you're jumping on me for that."

"I'm jumping on you because you asked an inappropriate question of my apprentice. As his Master, I'm asking you to not do that again. Can you at least understand that?"

After a moment, she said, "yes." They stared at each other for a long moment, Obi-Wan's hand gripping the edge of the table. Around them, the hall went on as if nothing had gone wrong. He heard laughing and the clang of silverware and chairs. Plates chimed from the kitchen. Tersely, she said, "I told you what I think. Don't you want to know why these dreams are happening?"

"And I'm choosing not to act on what you think," he replied. "Of course I want to know why I keep having them! What do you think I do in my free time, sit around and do nothing? 

"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it."

"I have a training exercise with my Padawan so I'll see you later, Knight Eerin." Standing swiftly, he picked up his bag from underneath the table and fled from the mess hall, feeling Bant's stare the entire way.

 ______________________

Part Two

"But I can't do it!" Anakin cried angrily, throwing his lightsaber to the ground. 

Obi-Wan's migraine grew worst with the thud of the lightsaber striking the mat. Anakin's fury at himself screamed rage through their training bond, causing the pain to dampen even more. The class of six year olds who were supposed to be practicing lightsaber moves were beginning to watch them. Their class instructor glanced at Obi-Wan before gently chastising them.

"Anakin," he said softly. "This is a difficult kata. It's all right that you can't do it immediately."

"But _you _can do it, Master!"

At that, the young Knight had to smile. "Anakin, I have about thirteen years of experience over you. It's fathomable that I'm able to do it. It would be insulting if I couldn't."

Anakin squatted on the mat, lightsaber in his hand. Sweat was slowly descending down the arch of his chin, and he impatiently burned it away with the back of his hand. His pale eyes shot daggers into the wall, and Obi-Wan noticed that there was a muscle twitching in his right cheek. "It's insulting to me that I can't!"

Obi-Wan bent down next to his apprentice. "As I said, this is an extremely difficult kata. You're not expected to get it in the first day, or even in the first week, Padawan. You're trying too hard. Relax. Trust in the Force; let it guide you. Don't think."

His face still wrenched in the agony of defeat, Anakin stood, his lightsaber clutched to his chest. "I'm sorry, Master."

"It's understandable to be angry at yourself," Obi-Wan admonished. "Don't think anything of it. Now, face me. Clear your mind. Feel the Force. Trust me, Anakin, you have to _trust me." Anakin suddenly looked very guilty, and Obi-Wan had to look away, too. How could he ask Anakin to trust him when Obi-Wan had not let allowed himself to trust Anakin?  
  
_

Obi-Wan struck out first, freeing his mind to the Force and letting it guide his motions. Anakin twisted violently, ducking away from the lightsaber and reaching it out to strike his Master in the back. Obi-Wan was barely able to twirl around in time to block the blow. He backed away, shutting off his lightsaber and looking to his apprentice angrily. "Did you forget the sequence of moves?"

Anakin appeared aghast. "Oh, Master, I'm sorry! It's just . . . it's so hard! I can't do it! You have to do this and then this and then curve around! This is harder than any of the katas I've had to do before! Did the Masters just teach me wrong?"

"Anakin, stop," Obi-Wan said in a whisper, his migraine attacking once again. "Katas are supposed to be difficult at first."

"But the other ones weren't!"

"Not everything in life is simple, my Padawan. It's reassuring that you have to work to get this kata down. They're not meant to be easy and weren't made just for you to pass. They teach discipline and trust in a Master-Padawan team, and trust in the Force. These are the reasons we try and teach you the kata." He saw Anakin's stricken look and added, "And they also come in handy with fights."

It broke the tension and Anakin laughed, slapping his knee. The sound was painful to Obi-Wan's ears, and the lights seemed harsher. "We've had enough for the day. You're free for the rest of the day."

Anakin's face perked up. "Thanks, Master. What are you going to do?"

He shrugged. "I'm going back to the room. I'm tired."

"Oh." Anakin turned to leave, hesitated, and then spun around. "Master . . . don't worry. I'm sure Knight Eerin was wrong about the Mind Healer. You can't just talk your nightmares away. Dreams pass in time."

Obi-Wan was surprised at the wisdom in Padawan's words, and a slow smile spread on his face. He would have preferred Anakin not mention it, but he wouldn't let Anakin go thinking the words had no effect on him. "Thank you, Padawan. I'll remember that."

Anakin grinned playfully. "Yeah, well. . . One day you're going to use the words on me, I know that."

"What goes around comes around, right?"

"Right." Anakin turned merrily and strode through the room and out the door, throwing a wink back at his Master as he exited the training room, nearly crashing into a group of the nine-year-old initiates wandering in for their lesson. He watched Anakin apologize and then shoot away. Their instructor shot Obi-Wan a pained look and he shrugged, turning away and exiting out another door. 

He immediately made for his apartment, taking the turbo-lift with another Knight who greeted him enthusiastically, causing his head to pound even more. He watched Coruscant through the lift's windows, mildly interested in what looked like a speeder accident. He saw yelling citizens and a smoking vehicle. The other Knight made disgusted sound in his throat and exited on the next floor, probably racing to see what the accident was about and try to help. 

The pale blue sky was distasteful to eyes. After dreaming of such sea-blue water, anything other than the richest shade of blue was unworthy in his eyes. There was nothing more beautiful and more deadly than the ocean. He shivered as he thought of it, pulling his cloak in tightly around him. He was always so cold; he could almost feel the icy water pushing him under the waves, sliding down his body. . .

He exited on his floor and entered his apartment, basking in the stillness of it and feeling of home that spread throughout his body. He went to the sink and splashed water on his face, combing his wet fingers through his hair. He damped a towel with it and went to his sleep-couch, laying the towel on his forehead. 

He wanted to sleep so badly. He couldn't close his eyes, though. He didn't want the dream, not on such a turbulent day. . . and what if Anakin came home, saw his Master sleeping when he should be doing something. . . _anything_. . . he couldn't let Anakin see him being lazy; that boy was one who saw his Master's actions and thought it was the way he should behave. . .

He closed his eyes and slept. 

_____

_"Come."_

_He would never follow the voice. It would lead him to the darkness and to a place he would never be able to leave. He wanted to groan, but doing so would send a stream of water in his mouth he couldn't afford to have. He forced himself through the surface, sucking in air violently, his lungs aching at the sudden release. _

_He was forced under again. _

No! No, no, no!

_He was losing the fight. The will to live was seeping from his bones and hollowing him, leaving nothing but an empty void. He could feel his life-Force starting to slowly drain; he was giving himself over to the call that beckoned him. When he opened his eyes, he didn't see water; pure light rained down through his vision. It was so lovely and fresh, sending a coarse breath of air through his painfully watered lungs. . ._

No, Obi-Wan, no!

_Oh, how his bones wanted to stop fighting. The pain was growing to an almost unbearable pressure. He kicked his legs, but the waves were too turbulent and sent him flipping over. He cried out, water rushing towards his lungs. Why should he even bother? There was no use in fighting; he would lose in the end. . ._

Obi-Wan Kenobi, you will not give up! I refuse to see you die today. You never give up, Obi-Wan, never. Don't start today.

_Why didn't the voice in his head just shut up and let him be? _

Anakin, Obi-Wan, remember Anakin! 

_Anakin?_ His Padawan. . . __

Don't, Obi-Wan, please!

_Darkness began to taint the edges of his mind. He couldn't feel any part of his body. His lungs were ready to burst; the pain had reached an area beyond pain. He felt so hollow, so spent. To die would be a haven to the feelings that engulfed him. Death was looking so sweet . . . so sweet. . ._

No!

_The darkness took him, and when the light flashed his eyes, he screamed in agony. _

_____

"Master!" Anakin cried out when he heard the scream. He flicked the light off, but Obi-Wan continued to scream in earnest, as if someone was trying to steal his soul. Anakin turned the light back on and ran into the room, jumping onto his Master's sleep-couch. Obi-Wan was thrashing in the sheet violently, fists and feet flying.   
  


"Obi-Wan!" he shouted, hoping to awake his fighting Master. He gripped the older man by the shoulders and began to shake him, barely able to avoid the fist that Obi-Wan threw his way. Ducking, he continued to pound on his Master's shoulders. The night was just beginning to loll around, and he wanted to kick himself for waking up his Master when he was had been sleeping somewhat peacefully.

Abruptly, Obi-Wan stopped screaming. His kicks and punches died soon afterwards. Uncertain, Anakin pulled back from his Master, hands at ready in case Obi-Wan began to fight again. His Master was breathing deeply in fast pants, his eyes suddenly wide open and sweat beginning to trail down his face. Anakin suddenly had a strong urge to slap his Master, but he resisted. 

"Master?" he asked uncertainly. 

A pause and then, "get out."

"What?"

"I said get out. Anakin, leave!"

"But-"

"Leave, Anakin!" 

"Master, I-"

"I said get out!" 

Hesitantly, the Padawan made for the door, his eyes on the Master at all times, in case he changed his mind. His words stung Anakin, but he forced them away. His Master wanted to deal with the nightmare alone; he always had. It wasn't anything that Obi-Wan ordered him out. He was fine; they were fine. But what if he had hurt his Master in turning on the light? Obi-Wan always awoke at the first trace of dawn. 

"GET OUT, Anakin!" 

The Padawan fled the room, leaving Obi-Wan tangled in his sheets. He covered his face with his hands, wincing when he felt the clamminess they carried. His fingers found the back of his head and pulled gently on his long strands of hair. He was shaking uncontrollably; shivering despite the warmness of the apartment. He rolled on his side, resting his head on the cool surface of the desk directly next to the sleep-couch.

_Take a deep breath; just breathe. It wasn't real, it wasn't real. _

This dream was so real; so much more alive than the other ones. He could feel the tendrils of the dream hovering over him like a dark cloud. It seemed so thick around his head he could feel it like a crown resting on his temple. On cue, his head began to beat behind his eyes, and he tried to sink into the pillow, adoring the softness of it. 

How could it feel so real, and the others feel so . . . insignificant compared to this one, even as he woke up screaming from those, too? How could this one be different and shake him so badly, when the others had been plaguing him for the last half year? 

_Because it's going to happen, because it's going to happen._

He stopped shaking; the pants subdued to slight breaths; his shivers died. For a long time he lay in his bed, thinking.

_Because it's going to happen. . ._

______________________


	3. Chapter Two

Whoo- hooo, another postie. 

______________________

Part Three

_Water, it has something to do with water. Someone is calling me to the sea; someone wants me to go. I wouldn't be having these dreams if they weren't; it has to be something that happened on one of the missions. _

Obi-Wan practically ran to the Archives, nearly running over a young initiate in his haste. The girl's Master opened his mouth to say something, but he issued a quick apology and continued his trot towards the Archives. His missions passed through his mind as he struggled to remember all the planets he had ever been to with Anakin that were mostly water. 

"Can I help you, Master Kenobi?" Jocasta Nu, the Archivist, asked has he came in, his robe swirling around him. "The night clerk is coming on if you need help."

"No, please, Madame," Obi-Wan said. "I need to see the files of the missions."

"Oh?" Jocasta asked. "Well, then, your missions with your apprentice, I suppose?"

"Yes, Madame," Obi-Wan answered, glancing out towards the darkened Archives. The computer consoles were still on, and despite the late hour, Jedi Knights were prowling the aisles, searching for resources to help them in their missions. Obi-Wan noticed Bant at a computer console, no doubt looking up information for the children she cared for in the crèche. He moved his head away so she didn't see him. "His name is Anakin Skywalker."

Jocasta's smile was genuine. "Well, I know that, Master Kenobi. Follow me." He followed her past the reference desk and down aisles towards an alcove tucked deep in the corner of the Archives. There were at least three other Knights there, and each nodded their greeting as they strode past. Jocasta led him to a bookcase that spanned two of three walls. 

"Well, here you are, Master Kenobi," she said, handing him a thick holo-file. She pointed towards the spot she had gotten it from. "Please return it when you're done; I'm sure you know the drill. May the Force be with you and whatever you need." 

"Thank you, Madame," Obi-Wan said, bowing. He read the name on the cover. 

_Obi-Wan Kenobi- Anakin Skywalker (MA-8997)_

 He took the file and set it upon a vacant table in the corner with a computer console.  Seating himself, he paused before opening the file, almost dreading what he would find. He wanted the dreams to stop; they were hurting his training time with Anakin and that was something Obi-Wan refused to stand for. If he followed the voice and listened . . . he could end the dreams. Someone wanted him.  

He scanned through the file, stopping each time to struggle and remember the planet's layout. When he couldn't recall, the computer was called in. He researched the planet, looking for any hint of an ocean, lake, or even a river. It was possible erosion had engulfed the planet with water, but so far none of the ones he checked were water-worlds. 

He checked the file all through the night. He didn't feel the hours slip away, or the rising of the sun as dawn drew near. By the time he set it down and rubbed his temple, the three Knights were gone and first light was setting in through the shades. Yawning, he went and opened them, wincing when the glare met his world-weary eyes. He sat back at the table in frustration, kneading his temple with his fingers. 

Was his logic misplaced? Were the dreams not premonitions, but his own dark fears? Were the dreams only that- dreams? Did they mean anything at all? He wanted to shout in frustration. He had gotten his hopes up because he thought the dreams were connected to a mission with Anakin, and they had nothing to do with them. He could not recall for the life of him a mission to a world covered with water. 

Perhaps Anakin remembered. But that was silly. If there was no world filled with water, then it didn't happen with him. He wouldn't remember-

Obi-Wan's fingers stopped kneading. He closed the file and slipped it back in its place. He began searching for a name, but was surprised when he found that the files were coded. He rushed to the desk sitting in the corner and pressed the button that signaled Jocasta. 

She came in a few minutes later to find Obi-Wan restlessly pacing in front of the bookcase. "Master Kenobi, I'm surprised you're still here!" she said, stunned. 

"I had a lot of work to do," he said, smiling. "I put the file back. When were they coded?"

She appeared miffed. "They've always been coded, Obi-Wan," she told him. "You've just never stopped to ask."

"Oh." He looked away. "My apologies."

She smiled at him kindly. "No one does; it's quite all right. What can I help you with?"

He glanced towards the files. "I'd like the file on Master Qui-Gon and myself, please." 

The older Jedi clicked her tongue; whether in pleasure or displeasure, Obi-Wan didn't know. Jocasta scanned the datapads thoughtfully, running her finger along them. She was humming something, and then stopped abruptly. Sighing, she reached and pulled a pad from the rest of the mass, stopping to read the cover. She held it to her chest. 

"Your Master was a wonderful person, Obi-Wan," Jocasta said respectfully. "He was a skilled Jedi and one of the most generous people I knew. I know you probably all ready know this and certainly don't need me to tell you, but he _was _proud of you." With that she gave him the pad and fled the alcove quickly. 

He looked down at the pad. 

_Qui-Gon Jinn (deceased) - Obi-Wan Kenobi (MA-1729)_

He went back to the table and set the pad on it, but did not sit. He paced the length of the table, spinning on his heel when he wanted to turn. He didn't want to think about the dream, but now that he did. . . 

The voice that begged him to stop had not been his own. He stopped pacing and stared down at the file in shock. The voice had been so familiar, and it came from the light. It urged him to not stop fighting, urged him to never stop. The voice knew him, and it sounded familiar. . . 

_Qui-Gon?___

He sat down and began tearing through the file, carefully bypassing the Naboo incident. He shoved that one away, unable to look at it. Naboo wasn't the answer to his dream. If he had ever dreamt of Naboo, it had been in the days following Qui-Gon Jinn's death, and in those dreams he dreamt of falling into the darkness and the face of the Sith who killed his Master. No. It wasn't Naboo. 

Obi-Wan flew through the other files, suddenly energized. Most of the time he had merely to glance at the files (Nyodine; Nutu; Candalas, i.e.…) to know that there was no connection whatsoever. As he reached the file for Textri, however, his mind suddenly drew a murky picture of waves. Slowly, he keyed in the planet and waited for a return answer. 

When the screen filled up, Obi-Wan's breath left in a hiss, and he leaned back, staring. 

He glanced back down at the file, anxious. He didn't want to read it suddenly. The Force urged him too; he could feel it whispering across his skin and pushing him to read. As a Jedi Knight, he had been taught since birth to never doubt the will of the Force and to follow it in whatever it wanted him to do. As a Jedi Master, he was supposed to pass on these things to his Padawan be setting a good and fine example. 

He stared at the file. 

_I cannot lead by example when the fear inside me is too great. _

He looked up at the timekeeper above the bookshelf opposite him, and suddenly he had his way out. 

It was 0700 hours. Anakin was expecting him for the first meal. He looked down at the file in his hands, suddenly sick. A wave of nausea passed through him, and he groaned against the rush of fear and uncertainly that spread throughout his body. He wanted to throw the file away and declare he would never look at it again, but it wasn't right. His sleeplessness was affecting Anakin and that was his main job in life. He mustn't let anything interfere. He had to drivel through and find the reason of the dreams.

But not now.

He would come back to the file later, while Anakin slept. He wouldn't disrupt the boy when he was supposed to be training.  He resolved to come back that night and roll through the file. The day would give him time to think, to feel. He didn't want a weight on his shoulders while training Anakin. 

Tiredness beat behind his eyes as he took the file and exited the alcove, blinking at the brilliant rays of sun coming from the sun roof. The night had passed in a haze, and he could barely remember what he had even looked at. Everything now resolved around Textri and his mission there. There was just something about that world…

He stumbled to the mess hall in a tired daze, startled at his sleepiness. The night had been too full of history and facts he didn't wish to remember. Too full of surprises. His tired mind pounded at his eyes lids, and he groaned at the overhead lights. Migraine. No Temple Healer could bid them away. He ached when reliving his mission with Anakin. The boy was moving too fast for him to keep up.

_The mission to Candalas…_

_No, that didn't happen then, it happened on Naboo…_

_No, that was before then, it must have happened on…_

When he reached the mess hall, his commlink sounded. Starting, he answered, moving off to a side of the crowded corridor. He peered through the doors and tried to spot his apprentice. 

"Obi-Wan," said Mace Windu's voice. "Your presence in required in the High Council Chambers immediately. Bring your apprentice."

He glanced once more through the doors and saw Anakin, talking with another apprentice. 

_I cannot go on like this. _

______________________

Part Four

"Welcome, Master Kenobi," Mace Windu told them solemnly. "Padawan Skywalker. We have a mission for you."

Obi-Wan's breath hitched. Anakin glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, Obi-Wan's edginess poking through their training bond. His Master refused to look at him or even acknowledge him. He heard Master Windu clear his throat, and looked at him, annoyed. 

"The government from-"

"I have a request."

Mace raised an eyebrow from the datapad he was reading. Anakin looked wildly at his Master, stunned. He had never heard of an instance in which someone interrupted the Council. It was disrespect in its highest form. He had never expected his _Master _to be the first one to interrupt a Council member. It was almost amusing. 

"Yes, Master Kenobi?" Yoda said after a beat of silence. 

"I cannot accept this mission." 

Anakin started, amazed. Obi-Wan was such a conservative Knight. He couldn't recall a single occasion in which his Master had disagreed with the will of the Council. After being brought to the Temple, Anakin had researched all he could on his Master and Qui-Gon Jinn, wishing to learn more about who they were. He had asked other Knights, and each had told him one thing: Qui-Gon was the rebel who disagreed with the Council, and Obi-Wan was pulled along for the ride as his apprentice. No one had ever told him of Obi-Wan disobeying the Council. 

_Well, now the roles are reversed. _

Yoda hummed. "Why?"

"I request to be sent to the planet Textri. It's a planet on the Outer Rim world."

"Why?" Yoda asked again. His ears were flattened against his head, and his silver eyes were wide and thoughtful. He appeared more curious than disturbed. 

Obi-Wan glanced at Anakin. "Padawan, would you excuse us for a moment?"

The boy's eyes widened, and he looked at Obi-Wan through hurt and torn eyes. "But-"

"Please, Anakin."

Anger leaked into his heart as he stared at the man before him. How could he ask him to leave? What exactly did he have to tell the Council that he didn't want his apprentice to hear? Where in the gods was Textri; they'd never been there. Why was he asking him to leave? There was no reason for this! A Master-Padawan team required trust; the katas were supposed to teach that! Obi-Wan had just pounded the lesson into him yesterday! Why was he turning his back on his own lessons from only a day before? 

And of course, that led to the question of his Master's absence after Anakin awoke him. The boy had gone to sleep in an empty apartment and had awoken in an empty apartment. Where had Obi-Wan been all night? Looking at his Master, he could practically see the weight on his shoulders. His eyes were red and tired. 

_Serves him right for making me leave._

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said quietly. 

Smoldering, Anakin left the room with a bow or parting word. Obi-Wan registered the fact with annoyance. 

"I'll speak to him about his behavior," he told the Council. No one made a sound, and he went on. "Masters, I apologize for interrupting your counsel, but I cannot take this mission. I need to go to Textri."

"Explain," Mace barked.   
  


He looked beyond Mace and out into the pale sky. "I have been having dreams every night for the last half year. They were- they _are, interfering in the training of my Padawan. I have reason to believe that someone wishes my presence on Textri- a psychic, if I am correct."_

For a long moment no one spoke, and then Depa Billaba said, "What do you know?"

Obi-Wan crossed his arms over his chest. "When I was an apprentice, Master Qui-Gon Jinn and I were sent to Textri. I don't recall that mission, but Textri- I'm sorry, Masters, I haven't told you about the dream."

"Is it a premonition?" Mace asked.   
  


"I think so," Obi-Wan said softly. "A voice is calling me to an ocean. It wants me to come. I can't sleep. I go days without it because I don't want to have the dream. It's interfering with Anakin's training."

"Scared of it, you are?" Yoda asked. 

_You good for nothing, stinking-_

Then he chastised himself.

"Yes, Master, I am," Obi-Wan replied. 

"You can see a Mind Healer," Adi Gallia said. 

"No," Obi-Wan said sharply. He softened his tone. "I don't wish to, Master. I don't believe that he can help me. I believe the dreams will stop if I just go to Textri. The dreams are about the sea. When I checked in the Archives, I found that the planet has been engulfed by water in the years since I have been there. The citizens built an air-bubble around the city and live there now. Someone there must need my help."

"So sure?" Yoda grumbled. "Unwise choice, this would be."

"Master, I am going to Textri."  
  


Silence again. 

"Master, I think this is the best," Obi-Wan said. "I don't see any other alternative than to go to Textri."

"If you go, you go without the permission of the Council," Mace warned.   
  


For a moment, Obi-Wan was swayed in his decision. What if Yoda was right? He could sense the words the wizened Master would not say: he sensed danger. He saw disaster. What if he went and was injured somehow? Who would take Anakin? 

_I'm doing this for Anakin._

"I'm going, Masters," he said. 

"Your Padawan will stay here, then," Adi said dangerously. "He shouldn't be punished for your mistakes."

She could have least said it tactfully. He chuckled. "I don't believe he'll stay, Masters."

"May the Force be with you, then," Mace said, glancing once at Yoda. 

"I have to do what I think is right," Obi-Wan told them. He bowed. "May the Force be with you, Masters."

His cloak billowing behind him, he left the room and was immediately confronted by Anakin's angry eyes. He held up a hand and sighed. "Listen, Padawan, I apologize for this. I didn't want to burden you with my worry, that's why I asked you to leave." He gave his Padawan a long and hard look. "Don't you ever walk out on the Council like that again, Anakin. That was disrespect and I won't stand for it."

Anakin followed his Master towards the lift. "You're not being open with me."

Obi-Wan padded open the lift door. "Did you just hear me at all, Padawan? Because it doesn't seem like you did."

The boy clenched his fists inside his cloak as he stepped into the lift. "I did, Master. I won't do that again, but what were you talking to them about? I don't understand why you can't tell me. And what is that?" Anakin pointed to the file under Obi-Wan's arm. "And where were you last night? I woke up and I was worried!"

Obi-Wan punched in the number for their floor. He glanced outside at the dreary pale sky. "I'll tell you everything in due time, my young apprentice. For now, I'd like you to arrange transportation to Textri. It is your choice if you choose to go. I don't want you to, know that. I don't know how long this will take."

Anakin blinked at his Master. "Why, Master? Why is Textri so important? Why don't you want me to go?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "I need to read this file. It will answer many questions that I don't know yet. I do not have the Council's permission to leave on this mission. They don't see a valid reason for me to go. That's why I wish for you stay. I don't want you punished for my errors in judgment."

Annoyance spread throughout Anakin's limbs. Obi-Wan wasn't answering his questions! Why was he hiding information? He felt so flustered. 

"I'm going, Master, of course."

A tired smile appeared on Obi-Wan's face. "Okay then. Please arrange transport for later today or tomorrow morning. I'm going to read this. I'll be in our quarters." The lift came to a halt abruptly and the doors slid open. Obi-Wan exited the lift, but Anakin stayed put. "You coming?"

"No, Master. I have... things to attend to." 

"Of course." Obi-Wan turned and started for the apartment, clutching the file as if it were a lifeline to the Temple. He closed his eyes as he walked down the corridor, his mind floating back to his earlier concerns. 

_Don't think about that now. _

Shaking his head, he entered the apartment.

______________________


End file.
